For Lili

Just wanted to let you know…I made sure to take the advair last night and thought of you while I rinsed with some Listerine. Got to avoid the thrush you know Anyway, I took two hits and slept like a baby. I actually have been hitting it every night before bed since my first posting about not sleeping because of it. When I went back and looked through what I wrote I saw I wasn’t exactly clear. But last night was good…I am staying in the AC today and hoping it’s on it’s way to better.

Shiva

When a Jewish person dies, generally the family sits shiva. Basically, its all about the people who remain behind…the dead, well, they’re dead. Can’t do anything more for them but make sure they are treated with dignity and buried as soon as possible. It’s the ones who remain who have the incredible need.

Earlier this week a friend’s husband died. Both are disabled…both in wheelchairs and very dependent on one another. It’s been a sad week for everyone and a very sad situation.

After work today I went to pay my respects at the funeral home. I admit I was kind of creeped out by the whole business which I also am amazed at since this was how I grew up, how I mourned throughout my entire pre-Jewish life but still…it did. I actually didn’t know what to do. Thank goodness Martha went with me. I mean, yes, I knew to comfort my friend but the whole business of viewing the body? Not so much. Plus we always seem to arrive at these things right when they’re doing the whole Catholic service thing too.

But that’s really not the point. The point is that I always choke up…I was reading the cards and the memorials and I almost just broke down in tears right there. Things like this really make you evaluate where you’re at. And given the road our lives are heading right now, I could so very easily put myself in my friend’s place which made my heart break for her even more.

It’s hard to imagine your life partner and best friend suddenly gone. And even harder to imagine how to pick up the pieces and go on. I know my friend will. She’s a lot stronger than people give her credit for. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less or make her life any less lonely without him.

Sheesh

Hat tip to Modernista for this one straight from the Bob Regola files.

Sometimes I cannot believe the absolute HUBRIS of this guy. To say that he felt that his acquittal should have been the end and, well, listen to what HE said:

In a statement released today, the senator said, “Despite today’s filing, I am hopeful that both our families are able to find some closure without more legal proceedings. Lou’s death was a tragedy for all of us, and I thought that my acquittal would help us all find that closure.

What kind of closure is he even talking about? Has he gone mental? He was acquitted because the state’s case sucked…the state police lost the evidence…the whole thing was stonewalled by the Regola family from day one so that as little information was available as possible.

I hate to tell Mr. Regola this…but an acquittal does not REALLY mean “Innocent.” It means “not enough evidence to convict.” Funny thing that.

My Asthma and The Damn Cat

Last night was a BAD night. Not only am I dragging because of the weather and hormones but now I am being denied sleep because the damn cat feels the need to sleep right by my head which, within seconds, throws me into an asthma attack. If she sleeps at the bottom of the bed it’s not so bad…but still. I throw her off…she comes right back. Over and over this happened last night punctuated in between by 20 minute fits of coughing and a trip to the bathroom. Ugh. We have window air conditioners and I can’t shut my door because the AC is in the hallway for the entire upstairs. My only alternatives are to shut her in with Anth…who doesn’t seem to mind the lack of circulating, cold air…to throw her in the basement for the night or to let her sleep outside and possibly have to get up periodically to break up her fights with the other neighborhood wildlife.

I am POOPED to say the least.

We were all going to go see Mamma Mia tonight but that’s been scratched because of an unexpected hospitalization. I want to see Batman…but Evan is so not into it. So….we’ll probably get pizza and come home and pass out by 8pm. Cat somewhere other than by my head of course.

It’s supposed to be a hazy, hot and humid Pittsburgh weekend which, given everyone’s state of pulmonary health, means we’ll spend it indoors probably watching a lot of movies. Too bad the Olympics don’t start but hey, what can you do.

Bob Regola Has The Last Word…For Now

Told you so.

So, now, my question is…who cries foul for the way the Regola family has treated Louie Farrell by not even giving his family the courtesy of an explanation?

Poor, pitiful Bob Regola.

Ehud and Eldad, Baruch Dayan HaEmet

Yesterday Israel made an exchange that will have ramifications for years to come.

Read Treppenwitz…as always, he says it all.

Dear Person Who Searched “Wearing Crocs To Work”:

I saw a search string this morning - “wearing crocs to work” and I thought I’d just pass this tidbit on:

I am. Today. And I am going out to do a presentation.

Hah!!!! I love me some crocs!

The Drudgery

Last night we washed the first load of dishes in the new GE Portable Dishwasher. Now granted I did not pre-rinse but I also didn’t put them in fresh from the table either. I scraped the food off and put them in as directed…making sure not to block the “tower”. And what do you imagine I got when I came back from dinner with Anth and the Older Boy (our “adopted” son Rich)? A mess. NONE of the dishes got clean unless they were basically clean when they went in and half of THOSE came out with other food pretty much spot welded to the outside. I was DISGUSTED to say the least. After waiting 22 years for this, okay, yeah, I had my hopes up.

So today I called Best Buy and said, hey, I ran this thing and my dishes came out dirtier than when they went in. I want to return it and I want another brand. I was expecting a fight…but no. Zak, the kid who sold it to me, was all “Yeah, sure, no problem…come in and do the paperwork and we’ll schedule a day to swap them out.”

Huh? Shocked? YES! So tonight Anth and I will journey out and trade in the dishwasher. I should have believed all the complaints I saw online about it although I figured a dishwasher is a dishwasher. Guess that aint so. I am in the market for a Maytag now and I have been reading all of the reviews and they all APPEAR good. Plus it’s on sale at Lowe’s for $60 less than Best Buy so they’ll honor that. Maybe they’ll deliver for free too since I don’t think I should have to pay for delivery of the first one which obviously wasn’t working properly.

We shall see.

Sometimes

I told my Dad last night about Anth’s health issues and how we’ll probably be on the transplant list soon. As usual, he thinks I am not taking this seriously. All because I said it would be okay. I guess we all have our ways of dealing with things. Anyway, as we talked I also mentioned I had gotten a scholarship for grad school and I was happy because it would help pay for an extra class this year. He told me to quit worrying about school and make sure I did things with Anth. To go out and have a life together, make memories, because one day I’ll wake up and it will be over before I know it and that’s all I will have left.

I know he was talking about him and my mom and I couldn’t help but cry. Sometimes he really lets on how devastating her death was…it’s always something we never discuss. Or rarely. Or when we’re drinking. Twenty-five years later it still hurts too much.

Today is her birthday. In my mind’s eye though she’ll always be 39…which she was when she had her heart attack. She turned 40 3 days later and was dead within 6 weeks on our living room floor when everyone was out of the house. But to me, she’ll always be who she was when I last saw her.

And yes, it does still hurt. Terribly.

Things That Go COUGH In The Middle Of The Night

I never think of myself as a person with asthma although I have had it most of my life. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was in college, mostly because I also was never taken to a doctor for anything other than that time I rammed a broken tree limb through my leg. Once I got to college though and actually had a checkup, I was diagnosed and so all the coughing in the middle of the night and coughing when I played basketball and coughing when I marched in the band suddenly had a name…asthma.

Over the years I have been on a variety of inhalers. The best one I ever had was a steroid inhaler. That was the year I was participating in the Jaycees Speak-Up Events and all the stress from all the competitions almost did me in. In fact, my asthma got so bad that I almost had to disqualify myself 2 minutes before my speech at the national competition. Fortunately, I sucked a few extra doses of steroids, went in and took 3rd place.

But it has never really gotten any better and it actually got to the point where regular albuterol made me feel like I was going to have a heart attack so I quit taking it. I’d cough all night long and when I laughed really hard but I lived with it.

Well, last winter I got sick and they gave me a new inhaler. It’s that purple one…advair. Also steroid. But it’s a powder that you suck through the inhaler and it actually works pretty well. Anth will tell me when I am coughing all night and I’ll start taking a hit before bed. I have been doing this for the past couple of months on and off because it also gives you thrush if you’re not careful. Last night was REALLY bad. I coughed all night long. I mean like from 2-5am solid. I would drift off and then it would start. And it’s a lovely, croupy cough too. I got up and got a drink, walked around…still coughed ALL night long. Finally I took a hit of advair…it calls for only one hit but I was desperate and it quieted down.

The website for asthma says this is a sign of poorly controlled asthma so I guess it’s time to go back to the doctor. The bad part is he’s leaving to start his own solo practise and I may not be able to see him until September when he gets set up. In the mean time…I’ll stick with the claritin and the advair and kick the cat out of my bed at night. I was so exhausted this morning, I slept another 3 hours just because.